01
Sixteen Things Calvin and Hobbes Said Better Than Anyone Else
On life’s constant little limitations
Calvin: You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.
On expectations
Calvin: Everybody seeks happiness! Not me, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
On why we are scared of the dark
Calvin: I think night time is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
On the unspoken truth behind the education system
Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
On the cruel reality of commercial art
Hobbes: Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
On the tragedy of hipsters
Calvin: The world bores you when you’re cool.
On the tears of a clown
Calvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humour? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it’s funny. Don’t you think it’s odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?
Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
Calvin: (after a long pause) I can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.
On the falling of sparrows (or providence’s lack of a timetable)
Calvin: Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
On why winter is the cruellest of seasons
Calvin: Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
On the gaping hole in contemporary art’s soul
Calvin: People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.
On playing Frankenstein with words
Calvin: Verbing weirds language.
On realising God is more Woody Allen than Michael Bay
Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.
Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.
Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
On why ET is real
Calvin: Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
On looking yourself in the mirror
Hobbes: So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
On the future
Calvin: Trick or treat!
Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be?
Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak. Am I scary, or what?
On the truth
Calvin: It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…Let’s go exploring!
(Source: amandaonwriting)
naughtyseraph asked: If I happen to be in a sour mood, I'd handcuff you to the bike rack in front of a library. As close as you are to the library, you won't be able to read any books for the rest of the day. If I'm in a good mood however, I'd just have ya bake cakes and pastries for me.
That’s just cruel! Lock me up right near a library but with no way to get any books?! T^T
I am more than happy to bake, though. :D I love baking.
Anonymous asked: Are you going to "The Beatles: The Lost Concert" movie premier in a few weeks?
I am so terrible about checking things; I didn’t see this until now — I’m sorry, anon! D:
In any case, it looks like I wouldn’t have been able to see it anyways, as the screenings for this month were cancelled/postponed. Which is sad. I would certainly be interested in seeing this!
REBLOG IF YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOUR FOLLOWERS WOULD DO IF THEY OWNED YOU FOR 24 HOURS.
Sounds like trouble.
Oh dear.
WHy the heck not.
(Source: london-umbrage-is-falling-down, via imagin-eeri)
I don’t know that people who never read books scare me. They do annoy me though.
More often I just don’t understand why not.
(Source: fishpondcom)
![fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo:
[Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “ [Tipsy at party. Start reciting Shakespeare.] ” Bottom text: “ [Get all the ladies.”]
As sarcastic as this meme may seem, whilst at a party I regaled my friends with Caliban’s soliloquy from The Tempest (I cried to dream again, Act 3 Scene 2) and I actually got a girl’s number. Good ol’ Bill, best wingman ever.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4fy9uj0UQ1qhe5udo1_400.jpg)
[Picture: Background — a six piece pie style colour split, alternating black and grey. Foreground — a picture of an armadillo. Top text: “ [Tipsy at party. Start reciting Shakespeare.] ” Bottom text: “ [Get all the ladies.”]
As sarcastic as this meme may seem, whilst at a party I regaled my friends with Caliban’s soliloquy from The Tempest (I cried to dream again, Act 3 Scene 2) and I actually got a girl’s number. Good ol’ Bill, best wingman ever.
Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.
If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.
If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?
A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.
If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.
”Attention, Space Cadets: Do Not Proposition Women in the Elevator
I wish I didn’t need to reblog stuff like this. I wish people *got it*. But judging from the ridiculous response to these posts, stuff like this clearly still needs to be repeated.
(via lavender-labia)
This actually made me cry. Ugh.
(via m0nikered)
Will always reblog
(via stfuconservatives)
(via stfuconservatives)
